Mileposts

August. Back-to-school..It was August 1999 when we took our firstborn daughter to college. Her arrival 18 years before had changed our designation from couple to family. She is bright and kind to everyone. Remembering the days leading up to and just after driving her to The University can still bring a few tears. It wasn’t so long ago we were marking her first day of school. There must be something special about losing that first one to the big world out in the slipstream. Both Peg and I had that wordless smothering grief that comes with loss on the 6 hour drive home.

I walked around Target yesterday and change was in the air. For many students and teachers the summer is about over though the calendar says we’re exactly half way. Shopping carts were piled high with the telltale signs of “new dorm room”. There were several moms paired with son or daughter in this ritualistic dance of acquisition. I wasn't paying much attention while I shopped until I overheard the 45-ish mom and the 18-ish daughter with the bulging cart arguing over whether she needed hand towels. I was thinking, “big deal-so what” before it hit me... It wasn’t about the towels. Then the memories flooded in.

The road of life has many markers. Some are artificial such as your 40th or 50th birthday while some have legal meaning such as your 21st. Leaving home for good must rank up there with the mileposts having the most emotional significance. Leaving the nest, sink or swim… Mom, I’m running with scissors. It’s all about separation.
The student arguing over towels may have been an example of, “getting angry enough to leave.”
Hmmm, maybe it would have been easier to let her go if my daughter had been a little aggravating that last summer. --James www.flight-of-ideas.com